existential mini series: part 4

i went to fort worth this weekend. it was two days full of fun and celebration of the impending nuptials of two in my texas family, jake & jessie. mid-saturday night celebration, i got a phone call from carissa. one and the same naturalist who helped me craft part three of this series. one thing i love about carissa is no matter how infrequently we talk, we can call anytime/where and pick right back up. or i can sit on a gravel stoop across from a mexican restaurant in northern texas and talk about why we are here with her and not miss a beat.

i really, really want you to read her blog for this fourth installment. she's taking the question of "why are we here?" a step further. we decided we can't just be satisfied asking the questions...we've GOT to pursue answers. not passively sitting and waiting for God to say, "What's up with the what's up?" but actively taking a role in figuring this whole thing out. so we sat. and we talked. and we lamented the world we graduated into and the jobs that God has us in right now. does what we're doing right now matter? i wake up in the morning and help people @ VVRMC for the next 9 hours. hiring people, verifying employment, running reports for the government, affadavits, sharing lunch with pesky EMS directors, and so on and so forth. i then get off work. i make dinner, do laundry, go spinning, running, bowling, visiting and i fall asleep and dream about the oregon coast with PJ or getting puppies given to me in plastic bubbles. then i repeat. so what about all of that matters in the big picture? what about that is helping bring the Kingdom of God HERE, now?

i don't yet have the answer to that. but i do have something that's getting me through. something's gotta give. that's what carissa and i decided on - no matter what, we have to believe with our whole hearts that something's gotta give. that things won't always be like they are. and isn't that what kingdom come is all about? sitting. watching. waiting. with hope-filled expectation that life as we know it won't always be as we know it. that the kingdom will come. i believe that, i really do.

to read the rest of part four, check out carissa's blog (something's gotta give).

i want to leave a disclaimer that these questions i've been asking and the writing i've been doing are in no way causing me to lose sight of what God is doing. these questions are challenging me to be dissatisfied with having a motionless faith. these questions give me hope and they excite me because they lead to these mind-blowing conversations with other believers who feel the same and remind me that we are all connected. we are not alone in our doubt.

thanks for reading! i'm working on what i think it the last part of this little series with the help of an incredible book i'm reading by mother teresa called "a simple path".