the honeymooners

so my parents are funny. i went home two weeks ago to visit them and was promptly informed they were leaving the following day for a 10 day extravaganza to glacier national park and canada. ehhhhhh? i immediately started calling them the honeymooners and watched robb barnes build a raised wood platform in the back of the truck for them to sleep on. obvi it was for easily accesible storage underneath and sleeping purposes on top made respledent by two layers of foam pads. natch, i wish i would have taken a picture of this mcgyver-like creation on my dad's part. i did not BUT returned home again this past weekend for a full report from the hooneymooners.

since my little mother is an earth science teacher, i get an annual earful on the perseid meteor shower. this friday night happened to be THE NIGHT for it to hit and we cozied up on the deck on a full-sized air mattress, under a sleeping bag likely riddled with asbestos and reeking of hickory chips, to watch the cosmic show. after we whined long enough for our personal heater, robb barnes joined us and shared the following story.

note: please don't forward this blog post to the canadian government or u.s. border patrol. i'm pretty sure that if robb barnes were the male in this story, he would get arrested SO i will be using pseudonyms.

these two people, let's call them "roberto" and "nay" went to glacier national park. since part of this natural wonder spills over into our neighbor to the north, roberto and nay decided to spend all of 2 hours in canada. in order to do so, border patrol needs to be reckoned with. hilariously, anytime roberto leaves home, he is most assuredly packing heat. in most hunting circles, this translates to carrying a loaded gun. in barnes family circles, it means roberto carries a loaded gun in a black fanny pack, pick-up truck or in a holster sewn into an under armor shirt. i kid you not. natch, roberto and nay need to DITCH THE FIREARM before crossing the border. according to roberto: "i had to bury my gun on a blackfoot indian reservation on american soil before going into canada". you read right folks. roberto buried a firearm on sacred native american lands for two hours. upon their arrival back in the old US of A, roberto and nay returned to dig up the gun. surprisingly, there were now two people sitting in lawn chairs, facing Chief Mountain, playing the flute in homage to the sacred land. nay was then called upon by her sidekick to distract the holy flute players while roberto dug up his gun.

is this not the stuff movies and SNL shorts are made of?

to cap off our family affair, renay tried to be romantic and robb barnes shut her down.

renay: (while looking at the meteor shower) isn't this just like looking at the ocean?

robb: uh no. it's like looking at the sky.

kt: way to try and be romantic mom.

this is why i love my family.