The 49

Contrary to popular belief, Seattle does have it's own roller coaster known as the King County Metro 49 bus. It's not my usual line but I hopped on it yesterday to meet the boys in Capitol Hill and was in for a treat. Aside from the fever and chills brought by my Southern house guests, I got an awesome case of nausea from a) the driver AKA Father Time and b) the feral human sitting behind me with his fingers WAY to close to my hair. I kept snatching backward glances at Hobo Rider's hands certain they were inching closer to my precious mane until I finally resigned to moving across from him. Funny thing...the homeless have a sixth sense for riders-who-move-simply-because-they-don't-want-to-be-near-a-hobo. He spent the rest of the ride scowling at me through his matted hair. I spent the rest of the ride holding my breath and looking for an object to use as a weapon, just in case the need arose.

I digress.

Fun fact: this was, literally, the oldest bus I've ever seen. Pulling the stop line made an actual bell ring. Frealz. On top of that, we were driven by a man reminiscent of Dumbledore with a death rattle. His cough put mine to absolute shame. During the entire 20 minute ride, I sat there thinking, "If this driver chokes (due to the Cough of Death), I honestly don't think I could do CPR. I would literally have to sit here and pretend like I didn't speak English or understand the universal sign for choking" Then I felt like a horrible human being and tried to lose myself in a game of Angry Birds, which only served to fuel the nausea. Father Time was only capable of driving at two speeds: ridiculously slow and uncomfortably fast. When driving ridiculously slow, we were on straight stretches of road and holding up copious amounts of traffic behind us. When driving uncomfortably fast, we either had three inches of space between us and the University Bridge or were perilously close to flattening two sorority sisters and a Patagonia-swathed child in the crosswalks (sooooooo Final Destination).

Moral of the story? 

1. Having a car is très useful in Seattle. 

2. Riding the bus is NEVER boring.

3. I should become King Country's OFFICIAL Metro Blogger. Buuuuuuut then I'd probably have to say something nice about them and we all know that's not happening anytime soon (i.e. here and here)