Flat Max Pays a Visit

Despite last week's influx of visitors, an overwhelming sadness loomed because of the absence of Maxamilian E. Hinton, my hetero-lifemate. Max couldn't bear to see me, Forrest and Strek's shenanigans on Facebook and even threatened to hide us from his news feed to prevent unquenchable sadness and incredible feelings of exclusion. With that in mind, and in an effort to preserve my personal policy of "No Friend Left Behind", I created Flat Max (in the same vein as Flat Stanley) to join us in on our Seattle adventures.


Flat Max was always at the ready, ever prepared for a good time. He woke up with Strek and I at midnight on Thursday (er...Friday morning) to go pick up Forrest from the airport.

Thankfully, Strek's pea coat is big enough for two

Telling an awesome joke just minutes before Forrest's arrival

On Friday, he was up bright and early to take me to work. He bought me coffee and brought along a car beer for the road. In my opinion, it was a bit chilly to go shirtless but it didn't seem to phase Flat Max in the least. 

7am PST means 10am EST...which is a slightly more acceptable drinking time

While I slaved away at my desk job, Flat Max played tourist with Forrest and Strek. They hit up the Monorail - Seattle's most decrepit and overpriced mode of transportation - the Flagship Starbucks and even the illustrious Space Needle, which clearly doesn't abide by the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" policy. 

Suns out, guns out...YA DIG???

ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPUCCINO!

Smooches from on top of the world, baby

Bro time with Forrest on the Monorail ride back

That night we had big plans to head to Bitterroot, Seattle's newest BBQ & bourbon hot spot. Sadly their wait was wayyyyy too long so we meandered over to Sam's Sushi. The wait was ATROCIOUS there as well but Flat Max helped us make the best of it by playing hide and seek in the foliage.

Brings that damn beer EVERYWHERE. So embarrassing.

Saturday morning Flat Max roused us all for family breakfast at Five Spot. Thanks to his charming kissy face, we got a table post-haste. We soon discovered Max was ALL ABOUT their Bloody Marys and guzzled a handful before informing us he conveniently "forgot his wallet"...

Who can say no to THIS?

Slurps McGee

Flat Max took some "me time" for a couple days (aka we might have left him on my kitchen counter) but returned Thursday night for The Last Supper at Christo's on Alki. After some tasty pizza, we stopped on the beach for one final photo op. 

The Emerald in all her glory, basking in Max's ethereal glow

Hottie alert. 

Max & Eggs hugging it out

All in all, Flat Max was the perfect house guest. He took up very little space and left no mess - we hardly knew he was here! He was a perfect gentleman and had no problem sleeping in the car since my apartment was at max capacity. Hopefully this isn't the last we'll see of Flat Max but, to be clear, the REAL Max is welcome any time (:

On Conquering

Remember when I said I had visitors coming?

They came (sts), they're here and we're conquering The Emerald.

And I've done my best to keep my social media to a minimum lately to preserve the delicate feelings of our Missing Comrade: Max E. Hinton.

But trust me, not only am I documenting their visit but I'm also planning a little surprise for the Blessed Absent One. Quite unbeknownst to him, Max actually did come to Seattle...in 2-D form.

Here's a peek at the Flat Max Project. Creep the final product later this week.

Maxamilian taking me to work on Friday

20 years

Lately I've been on a political auto/biography jag - first Ted Kennedy's True Compass, then G.W.'s Decision Points, Karl Rove's Courage & Consequence and now Reagan's Presidential diaries. Amazingly, Reagan recorded the only daily Presidential diary in American history. That's nearly 3,000 entries! It's astounding to read who he met with, what he struggled with and how heavy the responsibility of leading the country was. I've always had a soft spot for Ronald Reagan - he was President when Yours Truly was born, embodied the rugged West & Old Hollywood, died of Alzheimer's like my sweet grandma and had an unshakeable love affair with his wife Nancy. Several weeks ago I came across an old letter from Reagan to Nancy on the occasion of their 20th anniversary. A picture of the letter is below but I've also transcribed it since the handwriting's a bit hard to make out. Be prepared to have your heart warmed...

"My Darling Wife,

This note is to warn you of a diabolical plot entered into by some of our so called friends (ha!), calendar makers and even our own children. These and others would have you believe we’ve been married 20 years.

20 minutes maybe – but never 20 years. In the first place it is a known fact that a human cannot sustain the high level of happiness I feel for more than a few minutes – and my happiness keeps on increasing.

I will confess to one puzzlement but I’m sure it is first some trick perpetuated by our friends – (ha again!) I can’t remember ever being without you and I know I was born more than 20 minutes ago.

Oh well – that isn’t important. The important thing is I don’t want to be without you for the next 20 years, or 40, or however many there are. I’ve gotten very used to being happy and I love you very much indeed.

Your Husband of 20 something or other."

via

Isn’t that just swoon-worthy? I love letters. They’re a tangible record of so many things – love found, love lost, adventures, sadness, growth and much more. In the past year, my mister and I have written nearly 200 letters back and forth and I honestly don’t think I’d know certain things or parts of him had we not initiated a snail mail campaign. So, I have an offer for you, dear reader. Let's keep the Postal Service in business. Leave a comment with your address or email it to me (kbarnes@spu.edu) and I will write you a letter or send you a pretty card! I’m curious to see how many people will take me up on my offer. Don’t hesitate! Even if you don’t know me well! I have some time off in the near future and what better way to fill it than with letter writing? To make it even better, I've got some Ronald Reagan stamps burning a hole in my pocket so it'll have the face of a hopelessly romantic President on it too (:

monday funday

what a weekend folks. what a weekend. it all kicked off friday night with a phenomenal allen stone show @ neumos in capitol hill. gah. there was scintillating company (with him, her and her), a grumpy sushi waitress, cupcakes, hipsters, PBR in a can, a potential unibomber and lotsa hot, sweaty bodies in motion. all that to say - it was perfect because of the following:

1. running into old and dear friends

2. avoiding the unibomber - this 50+ year old fellow came to a show in a full on trench coat, felt hat and HUGE backpack. unfortunately, he looked eerily similar to my future father-in-law (unfortunate because i really like my FIL). i might have started a rumor that there was a bomb in there (A JOKE RUMOR, OKAY?) and finally had to ask him by the end of the night what the EFF was in the bag. books. books? yep, books. he loves them and carries them everywhere. not weird at all...

3. watching allen freaking stone. he's amazing. take stevie wonder's mannerisms + a dash of john mayer's facial expressions + the voice of robin thicke + justin timberlake's falsetto and you've got allen stone. since my work finally got smart and blocked youtube, the company's greatest time suck, go search "allen stone neumos is this love" and listen to allen's smooth cover of bob marley's "is this love?"

4. your friends and mine, the gentlemen of hot bodies in motion, made a guest appearance during a delicious stevie wonder cover. it made my arm hairs stand up it was that good. in other news...today was most definitely MONDAY FUNDAY. my mailbox overfloweth with good things. check it out.

have i mentioned that i one day will own a paper company called the nitty gritty card committee? don't even think about stealing my name, copyright pending. anywho, i have a penchant for paper products espcially ones like these here from kate's paper goods.

i went to SPU with kate hart. she was a wicked runner and super cute (still is, to be clear) and now based out of sunny pasadena. when i saw her pacific NW suite, i had to have it. lucky for us, her blog is just as cunning as her cards are.

i love love. i also love my friends. so when my friends fall in love and get married, it the BEST thing everrrrrrr. received deb & colin's wedding invite today and can't wait to rally with my family and party in the mile high state for memorial day weekend.

and finally, i got this little gem in the mail. thanks to my newest girl crushes, brandi lisenbe & kelly garcia, of bueno bueno. i was lusting after it, dreamt of it and had to have it especially when i saw lonnie webb had TWO! it came and i'm wearing it all over the place already. and i thought i didn't believe in love at first sight...