Flat Max Pays a Visit

Despite last week's influx of visitors, an overwhelming sadness loomed because of the absence of Maxamilian E. Hinton, my hetero-lifemate. Max couldn't bear to see me, Forrest and Strek's shenanigans on Facebook and even threatened to hide us from his news feed to prevent unquenchable sadness and incredible feelings of exclusion. With that in mind, and in an effort to preserve my personal policy of "No Friend Left Behind", I created Flat Max (in the same vein as Flat Stanley) to join us in on our Seattle adventures.


Flat Max was always at the ready, ever prepared for a good time. He woke up with Strek and I at midnight on Thursday (er...Friday morning) to go pick up Forrest from the airport.

Thankfully, Strek's pea coat is big enough for two

Telling an awesome joke just minutes before Forrest's arrival

On Friday, he was up bright and early to take me to work. He bought me coffee and brought along a car beer for the road. In my opinion, it was a bit chilly to go shirtless but it didn't seem to phase Flat Max in the least. 

7am PST means 10am EST...which is a slightly more acceptable drinking time

While I slaved away at my desk job, Flat Max played tourist with Forrest and Strek. They hit up the Monorail - Seattle's most decrepit and overpriced mode of transportation - the Flagship Starbucks and even the illustrious Space Needle, which clearly doesn't abide by the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" policy. 

Suns out, guns out...YA DIG???

ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPUCCINO!

Smooches from on top of the world, baby

Bro time with Forrest on the Monorail ride back

That night we had big plans to head to Bitterroot, Seattle's newest BBQ & bourbon hot spot. Sadly their wait was wayyyyy too long so we meandered over to Sam's Sushi. The wait was ATROCIOUS there as well but Flat Max helped us make the best of it by playing hide and seek in the foliage.

Brings that damn beer EVERYWHERE. So embarrassing.

Saturday morning Flat Max roused us all for family breakfast at Five Spot. Thanks to his charming kissy face, we got a table post-haste. We soon discovered Max was ALL ABOUT their Bloody Marys and guzzled a handful before informing us he conveniently "forgot his wallet"...

Who can say no to THIS?

Slurps McGee

Flat Max took some "me time" for a couple days (aka we might have left him on my kitchen counter) but returned Thursday night for The Last Supper at Christo's on Alki. After some tasty pizza, we stopped on the beach for one final photo op. 

The Emerald in all her glory, basking in Max's ethereal glow

Hottie alert. 

Max & Eggs hugging it out

All in all, Flat Max was the perfect house guest. He took up very little space and left no mess - we hardly knew he was here! He was a perfect gentleman and had no problem sleeping in the car since my apartment was at max capacity. Hopefully this isn't the last we'll see of Flat Max but, to be clear, the REAL Max is welcome any time (:

On Conquering

Remember when I said I had visitors coming?

They came (sts), they're here and we're conquering The Emerald.

And I've done my best to keep my social media to a minimum lately to preserve the delicate feelings of our Missing Comrade: Max E. Hinton.

But trust me, not only am I documenting their visit but I'm also planning a little surprise for the Blessed Absent One. Quite unbeknownst to him, Max actually did come to Seattle...in 2-D form.

Here's a peek at the Flat Max Project. Creep the final product later this week.

Maxamilian taking me to work on Friday

All You Ever Needed to Know...

About Forrest J. Underwood: A Photographic Journey


Guess who's coming to town? None other than my hetero-lifemate, Forrest J. Underwood. He's so popular here on NW is Best that he has his own category. In just nine days the Sultan of Swag arrives for an entire week to take the Emerald City by storm. If this isn't highly deserving of an "All You Ever Needed to Know About Forrest J. Underwood" pictorial, I don't know what is. Upon reading this, you too can practically consider him your hetero-lifemate. 


1. He loves to party

2. He's GREAT with kids

3. Animals love him

4. He flies this

5. He was born swagga-docious

6. Super hot older brother: CHECK

7. Knows how to cut a rug

8. He loves his mama

9. He's strong 

10. He moonlights as a swimsuit model

11. The stash looks good on him

12. Impeccable dentition

Finally (and most importantly)...

13. He's got great taste in friends

first week of summer

holler. favorite season is officially HERE. it teased us seattleites with sun and fun on tuesday and has since petered out. definitely am not letting the weather dampen my spirits (literally) though...spending lotsa time catching up with rad people in beautiful places. please believe i've been putting in long hours at my favorite place in seattle, discovery park beach. davy can shed her civilized ways and run naughty and free while i play to my heart's content. don't you see why i love it so?

brain's art installation
crashing down...check that water action

vicious attack dog protecting me from wayward floating stumps

digging x 1,000

the view

the goods

tides a comin' in

brain's art installation #2 - red rock & dungeness baby crabs

found: one elf village complete with flagpole and firepit

love love lovinggggg summer

has nothing to do with my week. has everything to do

with how much i freaking love max e. hinton

partner in crime for the evening

playing catch-up at the boxcar with an old SPU'er

exactly why NW is best

this is how we do itttttttttt....

"it's friday night. and i feel alright. the party's here on the west side"

thanks to montell jordan and 1995 for this little gem of a song. always pumps me up for my 2 days of freedom ahead. this weekend: st. patty's day parade! and a special visitor straight from colorado springs. he's tall. cute. runs fast and far. and for some reason wants to marry me...so that means he's really smart (: here's a handful of inspiration worth sharing. enjoy the eye candy! oh and do you have any special plans this weekend?

this is bob. he works in the cube next to me and looks like a turtle when he eats chips.

(via me)

i think it's more than clear that i ADORE frenchies & boston terriers but this is high-larious. thug pug is right up there with the gangsta hampsters from the KIA commercials (via pinterest)

the wolfpack @ pioneer square's 1st thursday art walk last week. i LOVE them.(via bthomp, my super talented neighbor, 2nd from right)

i now am never without nail polish on my hobbit hands. i've accepted it's the only way to make them look remotely acceptable in public. matte. navy. swoooooon
(via pinterest)

diggin the hair bow (via pinterest)

gasp-worthy louboutins. they'll even custom color the underside!

(via pinterest)

after 5.5 years of trims my hair is well on it's way to being perfect for summer
(via pinterest)

the awe-inspiring toki no sumika resort in japan boasts a 3.2 million
LED light display in their tunnel of lights
(via yummyformyeyes)

little sweet nothing i sent to my mister this week
(via etsy)


just dying a slow death over how happy this picture makes me feel. LOVE LOVE LOVE it
(via fuckyeahgoodhair)