Despite last week's influx of visitors, an overwhelming sadness loomed because of the absence of Maxamilian E. Hinton, my hetero-lifemate. Max couldn't bear to see me, Forrest and Strek's shenanigans on Facebook and even threatened to hide us from his news feed to prevent unquenchable sadness and incredible feelings of exclusion. With that in mind, and in an effort to preserve my personal policy of "No Friend Left Behind", I created Flat Max (in the same vein as Flat Stanley) to join us in on our Seattle adventures.
Flat Max was always at the ready, ever prepared for a good time. He woke up with Strek and I at midnight on Thursday (er...Friday morning) to go pick up Forrest from the airport.
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| Thankfully, Strek's pea coat is big enough for two |
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| Telling an awesome joke just minutes before Forrest's arrival |
On Friday, he was up bright and early to take me to work. He bought me coffee and brought along a car beer for the road. In my opinion, it was a bit chilly to go shirtless but it didn't seem to phase Flat Max in the least.
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| 7am PST means 10am EST...which is a slightly more acceptable drinking time |
While I slaved away at my desk job, Flat Max played tourist with Forrest and Strek. They hit up the Monorail - Seattle's most decrepit and overpriced mode of transportation - the Flagship Starbucks and even the illustrious Space Needle, which clearly doesn't abide by the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" policy.
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| Suns out, guns out...YA DIG??? |
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| ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPUCCINO! |
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| Smooches from on top of the world, baby |
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| Bro time with Forrest on the Monorail ride back |
That night we had big plans to head to Bitterroot, Seattle's newest BBQ & bourbon hot spot. Sadly their wait was wayyyyy too long so we meandered over to Sam's Sushi. The wait was ATROCIOUS there as well but Flat Max helped us make the best of it by playing hide and seek in the foliage.
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| Brings that damn beer EVERYWHERE. So embarrassing. |
Saturday morning Flat Max roused us all for family breakfast at Five Spot. Thanks to his charming kissy face, we got a table post-haste. We soon discovered Max was ALL ABOUT their Bloody Marys and guzzled a handful before informing us he conveniently "forgot his wallet"...
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| Who can say no to THIS? |
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| Slurps McGee |
Flat Max took some "me time" for a couple days (aka we might have left him on my kitchen counter) but returned Thursday night for The Last Supper at Christo's on Alki. After some tasty pizza, we stopped on the beach for one final photo op.
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| The Emerald in all her glory, basking in Max's ethereal glow |
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| Hottie alert. |
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| Max & Eggs hugging it out |
All in all, Flat Max was the perfect house guest. He took up very little space and left no mess - we hardly knew he was here! He was a perfect gentleman and had no problem sleeping in the car since my apartment was at max capacity. Hopefully this isn't the last we'll see of Flat Max but, to be clear, the REAL Max is welcome any time (:
